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Stop Pestering: Learn How to Get Your Children to Listen

Updated: Jun 1, 2023

Do you feel like you are constantly nagging at and pestering your kids? Our Child Psychologist Expert Dr Deirdre Brander tells us why this nagging doesn't work and what you need to do instead to get your children to listen to you.


Why nagging doesn't work


No one likes to feel controlled

Being nagged feels like you’re being manipulated.


Pressuring someone can lead to defiance

When you repeatedly say the same things, it sends a message that you don’t believe they can complete the task.


Children tune out to nagging

It trains children to tune us out because they assume we will continuously say the same thing or something negative.


Nagging leads to resistance

It is human instinct to dig your heels in when you feel someone is constantly pressuring you.


Nagging causes resentment

Resentment can easily tear down relationships. So remember this the next time you feel the urge to nag your child.


We often go from pleading to threatening without getting any change

Instead, state the rules clearly and give consequences. This gives your child some control because, in effect, you’re saying, “It’s up to you.


How to get your children to listen

  • Involve children in solving the problem

  • Look for alternative ways to get things done

  • Try and understand the issue from their perspective

  • Pay attention to what is triggering you to nag.


This article was written by our Child Psychologist Expert Dr Deirdre Brander.


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Parent nagging children: why nagging doesn't work

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